The Importance of Your Frame – Vlog

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FAQ: On Writing My Book

FAQ: On Writing My Book

If you follow me on social media, you know that I promised to answer some Frequently Asked Questions about how I wrote “The Monster Under the Bed: Uncovering the Lie That Drives Us.” 

Let’s dive right in…

Q: What did it feel like when you first decided to write your book? How did you know?

A: This book has had so many “lives” – I can’t even count. I never set out to write the book I wrote. Not even close. Originally, I was just going to put some of my Sales and Personal Development principles in one place to help grow my network marketing business. I can’t even remember the sequence of events that ended up becoming “The Monster Under the Bed: Uncovering the Lie That Drives Us.” It was a long and soul-digging process, for sure!

Q: Tell us a little bit about your writing process.

A: I started out working with a ghost writer who recorded me talking and then brought me back what I had “said.” This was also a long and arduous task because when you aren’t even clear who your target market is, you are just shooting into the wind. That’s what writing this book felt like most of the time. It was more rewriting and deleting than anything else. 

Q: What was the most challenging thing about writing or publishing The Monster Under the Bed?

A: The entire thing! When I realized the book was aimed at a larger market than my business, and the principles applied to such a wide range of people (like everyone!) the hard thing was trying to figure out who the target market was. When writing a book, other than a memoir, you will need to promote and market the book. Books don’t sell themselves. I wish I had a better grasp on the “who it was for” while I was writing it. It would have made marketing it much easier. This is a huge piece of advice I’d give. I spent so much time in this conundrum needlessly. 

Q: What was the easiest or most rewarding thing about writing or publishing the book?

A: Writing? The dedication – to my husband! Publishing and beyond? The great responses and testimonies I’m getting. That makes it all worth it! 

Q: What advice would you give to others who have the notion to write a book?

A: Start with the end in mind. Deal with a professional book coach and editor. Don’t rush. 

 

If you have any questions about my book-writing process that I didn’t answer here, leave them in the comments or send me an e-mail to kim@kimfiske.com!

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What if We Demanded More Love From the Media?

What if We Demanded More Love From the Media?

Last year, I attended a Media Summit in New York to talk about my book. I talked to the biggest media outlets in our country. They were very specific about the stories they wanted – It had to have an emotional/sensational, mostly liberal message. No rational, kind, “let’s try and build unity” messages allowed. (If you know me, you know that what I’d really like to do for the public is help create peace, not create separation.)

This isn’t a surprise to anyone reading this, I’m sure… but I don’t blame the people in charge of the media entirely. Why do they do it? Because WE buy it – WE read it – WE listen to it. They are giving the people what they want.

It reminds me of when my boys would fight. I would tell one of them if they stopped reacting when the other would pester them, the other would stop doing the pestering. The REACTION is why they do it. It is fun to see one’s power over others. “Hey – watch what happens when we put this headline up!” or “Ok – get ready for the huge hailstorm coming that this headline or story will cause.” And in the “journalist” world – it’s “he who gets the biggest response, wins” – Not “he who tells the story in a more accurate and level-headed way.” Nope. That thought does not exist in the media world.

It is supply and demand, what gets the most views, and what really gets the public amped up and talking. Imagine a world where we got more amped up about how to love more? How to work together phenomenally? What if the news that really got people going was largely about beautiful acts of unity instead of drastic acts of separation and cruelty? 

I think we should make love & togetherness popular, as much as possible. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

& You guys… if you haven’t already, sign up below for my e-mail list! This month, I’ll be opening sign-ups for my 30-Day Virtual Workshop to a limited amount of people from my e-mail list only! Plus, immediately get my Chatter Factor video course now!

3 Steps to Dealing with Curveballs

3 Steps to Dealing with Curveballs

Life has a way of throwing us the unexpected – just when we least expect it! We have a plan or a path, and then suddenly, something shows up that we did not put there… and it throws us off.

I’ve learned (and continue to deepen that learning) to not be surprised with those “curveballs.” When unforeseen situations happen, I turn to this 3-step process for dealing with it:

1. Immediately identify WHAT I’m feeling. It could be anger, jealousy, resentment, anxiety, worry, sadness, (fill in the blank.)

2. Do some deep breathing and move my perspective to SEEING the situation (I put mine up on a movie screen) instead of BEING IN the situation. (My current emotional state.)
This really helps take the emotional sting out of it and it helps me see a bigger view of what is going on.

3. I can see from this vantage point that there is usually an unmet expectation. And I have a choice to stay attached to my expectation or manage, adjust, or eliminate it all together, in order to help me feel better.

This is key! 
During my recent trip to Sesimbra, Portugal, I experienced a big shift in plans, unexpectedly. What I went there for was not what I ended up doing there, and I had to shift, manage my expectations, and go with the flow. And it is ALL GOOD!

Where in your life have you had to adjust or completely disregard your expectations? Share in the comments.

& You guys… if you haven’t already, sign up below for my e-mail list! In July, I’ll be offering a 5-week virtual webinar / focus group to a limited amount of people from my e-mail list only! Plus, immediately get my Chatter Factor video course now!

If This Happens, Then I’ll Be Happy

If This Happens, Then I’ll Be Happy

How often do you think along the lines of – “If this would happen, then I’ll be happy” or “When this happens, then I’ll be happy?” I call this “fantasy.” It’s the thought that either IF something was different or WHEN something happens – THEN I’ll finally be happy!

I watch for this in myself because it has bit me many times. My mom always taught me that nothing is as good OR as bad as we think it will be. It’s our expectation that needs to be managed in any case. To believe that something outside of ourselves will bring us long-term peace or happiness is a myth. It’s an “inside job.”

Which “if ____, then I’ll be happy” or “when ____ happens, then I’ll be happy” thoughts do you have?